By Fr. Richard Rohr
Posted in Faith
Tears of Joy and Sadness
The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things.
—Galatians 5:22–23
In the Christian Scriptures, we are reminded that joy is a fruit of the Spirit in all circumstances. Father Richard Rohr describes a personal experience of simultaneous deep sadness and profound joy.
In 1985 my Franciscan superiors gave me a year’s leave to spend in contemplation. It was a major turning point in my life and ultimately led to the formation of the Center for Action and Contemplation. The first thirty days of my “sabbatical” were spent in the hills of Kentucky, in Thomas Merton’s hermitage at Gethsemani Abbey. I was absolutely alone with myself, with the springtime woods, and with God, hoping to somehow absorb some of Merton’s wisdom. That first morning, it took me a while to slow down. I must have looked at my watch at least ten times before 7:00 AM! I had spent so many years standing in front of crowds as a priest and a teacher. I had to find out who I was alone before God without those trappings.
Walter Burghardt’s definition of contemplation as “a long loving look at the real” became transformative for me. The world, my own issues and hurts, all my goals and desires gradually dissolved and fell into proper perspective. God became obvious and ever present. I understood what Merton meant when he said, ‘The gate of heaven is everywhere.’
I tried to keep a journal of what was happening to me. Back then, I found it particularly hard to cry. But one evening I laid my finger on my cheek and found to my surprise that it was wet. I wondered what those tears meant. What was I crying for? I wasn’t consciously sad or consciously happy. I noticed at that moment that behind it all there was a joy, deeper than any private joy. It was a joy in the face of the beauty of being, a joy at all the wonderful and lovable people I had already met in my life. Cosmic or spiritual joy is something we participate in; it comes from elsewhere and flows through us. It has little or nothing to do with things going well in our own life at that moment. I remember thinking that this must be why the saints could rejoice in the midst of suffering.
At the same moment, I experienced exactly the opposite emotion. The tears were at the same time tears of an immense sadness—a sadness at what we’re doing to the earth, sadness about the people whom I had hurt in my life, and sadness too at my own mixed motives and selfishness. I hadn’t known that two such contrary feelings could coexist. I was truly experiencing the nondual mind of contemplation.
Reference
Fr. Richard Rohr, Tears of Joy and Sadness — Center for Action and Contemplation
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Paul tries to create some “audiovisual aids” for this big message, which he calls “churches” (a term Jesus used only twice, found in Matthew 16:18 and 18:17). Paul knows we need living, visible models of this new kind of life to make evident that Christ’s people really follow a way different from mass consciousness.
Paul tries to create some “audiovisual aids” for this big message, which he calls “churches” (a term Jesus used only twice, found in Matthew 16:18 and 18:17). Paul knows we need living, visible models of this new kind of life to make evident that Christ’s people really follow a way different from mass consciousness.
It is very important, friends, not to think of the soul as dark. We are conditioned to perceive only external light. We forget that there is such a thing as inner light, illuminating our soul.
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