Five tips for increasing self control

Posted Aug 10, 2015 in Family

Reflections on self control, faith and parenting.

Australia Day barbeques ruin your New Year’s resolution. Easter sabotages your diet. Your 10-year old’s behaviour destroys your plan to discipline gently.

Self-control is tough.

St Paul, a disciple of Jesus who wrote many of the letters we find in the Bible, knew this. He wrote, "I don’t understand what I do. I don’t do what I want to do. Instead, I do what I hate to do." (Romans 7:15)

Your kids have you (and teachers and others) to discipline them, to point them in the right direction and hold them accountable for their behaviour. But who guides your behaviour? That’s where self-discipline kicks in.

New research at Florida State University suggests five secrets for increasing self-control. They can help you eliminate those pesky failures and achieve your goals.

• Meditate. Meditation can train your brain to become a self-control machine. Take time to be quiet and still.
• Eat. Your brain burns glucose when you struggle to exert self-control. Keep up your blood sugar level to have a fighting chance to make and follow-through on good decisions.
• Exercise. Getting your body moving for as little as 10 minutes releases GABA, a neurotransmitter that makes your brain feel soothed and keeps you in control of your impulses.
• Sleep. When you are tired, your brain cells’ ability to absorb glucose is highly diminished. So getting a good night’s sleep — every night — is one of the best moves you can make.
• Ride the wave. When the impulse you need to control is strong, waiting out this wave of desire is usually enough to keep yourself in control.

That’s all fine when you have ten minutes to exercise or time to count to ten before you act, if your toddler sleeps through the whole night or your teenager gets home before curfew.

But relying entirely on yourself doesn’t work. Despite its name, self-discipline doesn’t have to be a solo battle. Tell your partner, trusted friends and even your children about your struggles. Invite them to give you positive reinforcement and encouragement.

Paul also wrote: "God gave us his Spirit. And the Spirit doesn’t make us weak and fearful. Instead, the Spirit gives us power and love. He helps us control ourselves." (2 Timothy 1:7)

So, in the end, the self control we want for ourselves and that we want to develop in our children is a gift from God. Ask for the gift when you need it. Recognise the gift when you receive it, Use it and thank God for it.

This article is from Issue 44 of Faith Family, which will be available in the last week of August. Faith Family is a quarterly, four-page publication providing parents with encouragement and ideas for living out their faith in their daily lives and helping children to develop their own faith. Find out more here.

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