Teaching Values in Families

Values are shaped in families, in churches, in schools, in the wider community and through the media.

Values are generally caught more than they are taught. However, given our current social climate, it is not enough to assume that our children will simply catch our values.

Australia as a whole and schools in particular are attempting to define 'true Australian values'. Schools are being proactive in teaching and promoting these values. We cannot assume that the values practiced and promoted in other areas are the same as the values of our family. The values may be good in themselves, but they may not be what we perceive to be truly 'Christian' values.

There will be times when our children will need to be able and confident to make choices between our family values and other values; times when they will need to take unpopular stances. There will be times when they will need to be able and confident to make statements about the values they share with their families, eg:

'We think . . . is really important, so we do this . . .'

'We think . . . is really important, so I will not do this  . . .'

As parents we need to equip our children with an understanding of why certain things are important to us - whether or not these things are important in the wider community. We need to help our children understand that what we do is shaped by what we consider to be important. And we need to give them the language to express the values we are attempting to live out in our families.

For all these reasons it is important that we talk about values with our children.

The attached documents contain some activities you can use to begin the conversation.

However, talking about values need not be a special project or extra burden on parents. It can be built into the regular day-to-day living. The most important discussion of values will take place in the context of real life, eg:

'I'm doing what I'm doing right now because . . .'

'Before we decide about this, let's think about what we really value.'

'If we really think . . . is important, what do you think we should do about . . .?'

Talking with our children about our values can also be a great reality check for parents. Children's ability to see things in 'black and white', without the benefit (or distraction) of a grey area, may force parents to do some serious thinking about our own values: Do we simply 'go with the flow' or do we really stand for something? Do we have some foundational values that guide our life? Do we really live out the values we like to think we have?

Below are some resources that families can use to encourage thinking about values: